Following the publication of his latest book, Influenced from Above: Where Faith and Influence Meet, author and influence expert Brian Ahearn experienced a profound conceptual shift that redefines the very essence of persuasion. This re-evaluation stems from an expansion of his established framework for understanding influence, encapsulated in the acronym PEOPLE. For years, Ahearn has championed PEOPLE as an acronym for Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical. However, a recent revelation has prompted him to consider an equally, if not more, impactful interpretation: Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Loving and Eternal. This nuanced perspective, Ahearn argues, does not negate the importance of ethical and lasting influence but rather elevates it to a deeper, more transformative level.
The core of this evolving understanding lies in a critical examination of the concept of "love" within the context of human interaction and influence. While common vernacular often associates love with simplistic notions, Ahearn posits that a more robust and enduring definition, particularly one informed by faith, offers a richer foundation for ethical and effective persuasion.
Defining Love: Beyond the Superficial
The common discourse surrounding love frequently defaults to abstract sentiments or situational expressions. These can include ideas such as "loving what you do," "loving your country," or even the superficial "liking" of content on social media platforms. While these expressions indicate a degree of positive regard or affinity, they lack the profound depth and commitment that Ahearn attributes to true, influential love. The absence of a universally agreed-upon, actionable definition has often led to ambiguity and misapplication of the term.
Fortunately, religious and philosophical traditions, particularly within the Christian context Ahearn draws upon, offer a more substantial framework for understanding love. The Bible, a cornerstone text for many, provides detailed expositions on the nature and practice of love, moving beyond ephemeral feelings to a set of demonstrable characteristics and enduring principles.
The Biblical Blueprint of Love: 1 Corinthians 13
A pivotal text in defining love is the Apostle Paul’s epistle to the Corinthians, specifically chapter 13, often referred to as "the love chapter." This passage, frequently cited at weddings, offers a comprehensive description of love’s attributes, both in its presence and its absence. Paul delineates love as patient and kind, rejoicing in truth, and characterized by its ability to bear, believe, hope, and endure.
Conversely, he articulates what love is not: it does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant, rude, irritable, or resentful. It does not insist on its own way or rejoice in wrongdoing. Crucially, Paul declares that "love never ends," underscoring its eternal and unchanging nature.
Ahearn cautions against viewing these attributes as a mere behavioral checklist. The temptation to approach these virtues as New Year’s resolutions – aiming for incremental, external improvements in behavior without an internal shift – is often met with limited success. He posits that divine intent extends beyond superficial adjustments. Instead, the aspiration is for a fundamental transformation, enabling individuals to become patient, kind, truthful, hopeful, and selfless. This internal metamorphosis, often termed sanctification within Christian theology, is facilitated by the Holy Spirit, leading to a gradual alignment with the character of Jesus Christ. This internal change, in turn, profoundly impacts how individuals influence others.
The Inherent Cost of Love
A critical, yet often overlooked, aspect of loving influence is its inherent cost. Ahearn emphasizes that extending love and acting with principled persuasion does not guarantee a desired outcome or a positive reception. History and scripture are replete with examples of individuals who, despite their unwavering commitment to truth and love, faced opposition, rejection, and suffering. The biblical prophets often endured hardship for speaking divine truth, and Jesus Christ, the epitome of perfect love, experienced betrayal, rejection, and crucifixion.
This understanding is vital in assessing the efficacy of our influence. It is easy to measure success by external metrics: whether individuals agree, change their behavior, achieve a specific transaction, or even garner positive feedback on social media. However, Ahearn argues that these are not necessarily definitive indicators of loving influence. True love may sometimes necessitate conveying difficult truths, prioritizing another’s well-being over personal gain, or accepting a refusal despite a strong desire for affirmation. In essence, love can demand personal sacrifice.
Reconciling "Lasting and Ethical" with "Loving and Eternal"
For years, Ahearn’s teaching and professional practice have been anchored in the principle of Lasting and Ethical influence. This framework emphasizes the importance of enduring impact and moral integrity. However, the contemplation of Loving and Eternal influence introduces a different, and perhaps more profound, set of challenges and considerations.
The pursuit of ethical influence can sometimes lead to a focus on adherence to rules and boundaries: "What am I allowed to do?" or "How far can I push the limits without transgressing?" This perspective, while important, can become a mental constraint. In contrast, the principle of love prompts a fundamentally different inquiry: "What is genuinely best for this person?"
When the well-being and interests of the other individual are elevated above the desire to achieve a personal objective, manipulative tactics lose their appeal. When truth takes precedence over the urge to "win" an argument or persuade a decision, deception becomes an untenable option. A genuine desire for another’s good transforms ethical behavior from a set of external rules into an organic expression of personal growth and character development.
This is where the concept of "Eternal" gains significance. While many opportunities for influence appear mundane – a conversation with a colleague, an interaction with a customer, offering advice to a friend, or a moment with a loved one – the ripple effects of these moments are often far-reaching and unknowable. The influence exerted in these seemingly ordinary instances can have enduring consequences that extend far beyond the immediate context.
The Transformative Questions of Influence
The distinction between the two interpretations of PEOPLE can be summarized through the questions they prompt:
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Lasting and Ethical asks: "How can I influence people the right way?" This question focuses on the methodology and the immediate impact, ensuring that the approach is both effective and morally sound. It prioritizes adherence to established principles of ethical conduct and seeks to achieve positive, sustainable outcomes.
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Loving and Eternal asks: "Who am I becoming as I influence them, and what might God do with that influence long after this moment is over?" This question shifts the focus from the external act of influencing to the internal transformation of the influencer. It considers the long-term, potentially eternal, implications of one’s actions and the role of a higher power in shaping those outcomes. It emphasizes character development, the cultivation of virtues, and the potential for divine orchestration in the lives touched by our influence.
Ahearn, after decades of studying, practicing, and teaching the science of influence, asserts that the latter question – the one posed by "Loving and Eternal" – is ultimately the more significant one. It challenges individuals to consider their own spiritual and moral trajectory as they engage with others, recognizing that true influence is not merely about achieving immediate results but about fostering genuine growth and contributing to something enduring.
The implications of this refined understanding are far-reaching for individuals and organizations alike. By embracing the principles of loving and eternal influence, practitioners can move beyond transactional relationships to cultivate deeper connections, foster trust, and contribute to a more compassionate and ethically grounded world. This shift requires a commitment to introspection, a willingness to prioritize the well-being of others, and a recognition that the most profound influence stems from a transformed heart and a commitment to enduring virtues.
Brian Ahearn, a prominent figure in the field of ethical influence, serves as the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and is a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. His extensive background includes training by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., a globally recognized authority on ethical persuasion. Ahearn’s literary contributions, including Influence PEOPLE, Persuasive Selling, and Influenced from Above, have garnered critical acclaim and bestseller status. His online courses and TEDx presentation further underscore his dedication to advancing the understanding and application of influence in both professional and personal spheres. The dialogue initiated by his re-examination of the PEOPLE acronym invites a collective reflection on the future of influence, urging a transition from mere effectiveness to a more profound and impactful form of human connection.
