The recent publication of Brian Ahearn’s latest book, Influenced from Above: Where Faith and Influence Meet, has sparked a significant re-evaluation of the fundamental principles of persuasion, moving beyond purely ethical and lasting frameworks to embrace a more profound concept of love and eternity in influence. Ahearn, a recognized authority in the science of ethical influence and faculty member at the Cialdini Institute, posits that the acronym PEOPLE, which he has long defined as "Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical," can also be understood as "Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Loving and Eternal." This paradigm shift, according to Ahearn, does not negate the importance of ethical and lasting influence but rather seeks to deepen its application and impact.
The genesis of this expanded perspective, as detailed by Ahearn, emerged during the writing process for Influenced from Above. This intellectual "eureka moment" challenged him to explore the practical implications of integrating a faith-based understanding of love into the science of influence. The core of this exploration hinges on a critical question: "What does it mean to love?"
Defining Love in the Context of Influence
Ahearn highlights that common societal interpretations of love often remain superficial, focusing on outward expressions or transactional benefits. However, he asserts that the Bible offers a more robust and transformative definition. Drawing extensively from 1 Corinthians 13, often referred to as "the love chapter," Ahearn elaborates on the characteristics of love as described by the Apostle Paul.
According to this biblical account, love is characterized by patience and kindness. It rejoices in truth, and it bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things. Conversely, love is defined by what it is not: it does not envy, boast, act arrogantly, or behave rudely. It is not irritable or resentful; it does not insist on its own way or rejoice in wrongdoing. Crucially, the passage emphasizes that "love never ends."
Ahearn cautions against a simplistic, checklist approach to embodying these virtues, likening it to the futility of many New Year’s resolutions. He argues that genuine transformation, as intended by a higher power, goes beyond mere behavioral modification. Instead, the aim is an internal metamorphosis, where individuals increasingly become patient, kind, truthful, hopeful, and selfless. This internal change, a process Christians refer to as sanctification, is facilitated by the Holy Spirit, leading to a profound alignment with the character of Jesus Christ and, consequently, a more authentic and impactful form of influence.
The Inherent Cost of Loving Influence
A significant dimension of Ahearn’s argument is the acknowledgment that loving influence is not always reciprocated or rewarded in predictable ways. He points to historical and biblical figures who, despite their profound love and commitment to truth, faced rejection, betrayal, and persecution. Jesus Christ himself, the ultimate embodiment of perfect love, endured crucifixion.
This perspective serves as a crucial counterpoint to the common tendency to measure influence by immediate outcomes: agreement, conversion, sales, likes, or positive feedback. Ahearn contends that these external metrics are insufficient indicators of true, loving influence. He posits that sometimes, the most loving act involves delivering difficult truths, prioritizing another’s well-being over personal gain, or accepting a "no" when a "yes" was desperately desired. This inherent potential for personal sacrifice underscores that love, in its deepest form, can indeed come at a cost.
Shifting the Paradigm: Lasting and Ethical vs. Loving and Eternal
For years, Ahearn has advocated for identifying "Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical." This framework, he maintains, remains vital and deeply respected. However, the exploration of "Loving and Eternal" introduces a distinct and more challenging dimension.
The ethical approach, Ahearn observes, can sometimes lead to a focus on adherence to rules and boundaries: "What am I allowed to do?" or "How far can I push the limits?" This perspective can be framed by questions of technical compliance and avoiding wrongdoing.
In contrast, the principle of "Loving and Eternal" prompts a fundamentally different inquiry: "What is truly best for this person?" This shift in focus transforms the nature of influence. When the well-being of the other individual takes precedence over achieving one’s own objectives, the appeal of manipulative tactics diminishes. When truth is valued more than the desire to "win" an argument or interaction, deception becomes an unacceptable option. A genuine desire for someone’s good reorients ethical behavior from a set of external rules to an internal process of personal growth and development.
The Eternal Horizon of Influence
The concept of "Eternal" brings a unique perspective to everyday influence. Ahearn suggests that many influential moments appear ordinary – a conversation with a colleague, an interaction with a customer, offering advice to a friend, or sharing a moment with family. However, the ripple effects of these seemingly small exchanges are often far-reaching and, critically, unknowable in their ultimate scope.
The dichotomy he presents can be summarized as follows:
- Lasting and Ethical asks: "How can I influence people the right way?" This question focuses on the immediate process and its adherence to established moral and practical standards.
- Loving and Eternal asks: "Who am I becoming as I influence them, and what might God do with that influence long after this moment is over?" This question shifts the focus to the influencer’s internal transformation and the potentially boundless, divinely ordained impact of their actions.
Ahearn, with decades of experience in studying, practicing, and teaching influence, expresses a growing conviction that the latter question—the one that encompasses love and eternity—is ultimately the more significant one.
Broader Implications and Expert Commentary
The implications of Ahearn’s reframing of influence extend beyond individual interactions. In the realm of business and leadership, a focus on "Loving and Eternal" influence could foster environments of greater trust, authenticity, and long-term loyalty, as opposed to short-term gains achieved through less scrupulous means. Organizations that cultivate a culture of genuine care and concern for their stakeholders, employees, and customers are often found to be more resilient and sustainable.
Scholars in social psychology and organizational behavior have long explored the interplay between ethics, trust, and influence. Dr. Robert Cialdini, the renowned social psychologist and author of Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, whose work heavily informs Ahearn’s approach, has consistently emphasized the power of ethical persuasion. While Cialdini’s principles primarily focus on universal psychological triggers, Ahearn’s integration of faith-based love adds a dimension that speaks to a deeper motivational and relational framework.
Some might argue that introducing faith into a secular discussion of influence could alienate certain audiences. However, Ahearn’s approach, rooted in the universally recognized principles of love, patience, kindness, and truth, can resonate across diverse belief systems. The emphasis on "what is best for this person" and "who am I becoming" are ethical considerations that transcend specific religious doctrines.
The enduring impact of influence is a topic of ongoing research. Studies in areas like organizational communication and marketing consistently show that relational influence, built on trust and empathy, leads to more profound and lasting outcomes than purely transactional or coercive methods. Ahearn’s framework provides a theological and philosophical underpinning for these observed phenomena, suggesting that influence, when motivated by love and oriented towards an eternal perspective, taps into a deeper human need for connection and meaning.
Conclusion and Future Discourse
Brian Ahearn’s exploration in Influenced from Above invites a critical examination of how we engage with and impact others. By proposing the expansion of PEOPLE from "Lasting and Ethical" to "Loving and Eternal," he challenges influencers to consider not only the rightness of their actions but also the depth of their motivations and the ultimate trajectory of their influence.
The question posed to readers and the wider community – "Does Loving and Eternal change how you think about influence compared with Lasting and Ethical?" – serves as a catalyst for continued dialogue and personal reflection. As individuals and organizations navigate an increasingly complex world, the principles of influence, particularly when infused with a spirit of genuine love and an awareness of enduring significance, hold the potential to shape a more compassionate and impactful future.
About the Author:
Brian Ahearn serves as the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and is a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. He is a recognized author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant dedicated to helping clients apply influence effectively in everyday situations to achieve enhanced results.
Ahearn is distinguished as one of a select group of Cialdini Method Certified Trainers globally, having received direct training and endorsement from Dr. Robert Cialdini, a leading figure in the science of ethical influence. His published works, including Influence PEOPLE, Persuasive Selling, and Influenced from Above, have garnered acclaim, with Influence PEOPLE recognized among the top 100 influence books of all time by Book Authority, and his other titles achieving Amazon new release bestseller status. His LinkedIn Learning courses on persuasive selling and coaching have reached over 850,000 viewers worldwide, and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has accumulated over a million views.
