Following the recent publication of his latest book, Influenced from Above: Where Faith and Influence Meet, Brian Ahearn, a prominent figure in the field of ethical influence and Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE, experienced a profound realization that has reshaped his understanding of persuasive communication. This epiphany centers on a reinterpretation of the acronym PEOPLE, a cornerstone of his established framework.
For years, Ahearn has defined PEOPLE as "Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical." This definition has served as the bedrock for countless workshops, consultations, and publications, emphasizing the enduring and morally sound application of influence. However, his recent work has led him to a deeper, more spiritually resonant interpretation: "Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Loving and Eternal."
This conceptual shift, Ahearn explains, is not intended to supplant the existing tenets of lasting and ethical influence, but rather to deepen them, imbuing them with a transcendent dimension. This evolution prompts a critical examination of the very nature of love and its role in human interaction and persuasion.
The Biblical Foundation of Love in Influence
The question of "What does it mean to love?" is one that has been explored across philosophical and religious traditions for millennia. While common parlance might offer fleeting notions of affection or preference, Ahearn points to the Bible as providing a far more substantive and actionable definition.
Central to this exploration is the Apostle Paul’s seminal passage in 1 Corinthians 13, often referred to as "the love chapter." This passage, frequently cited in ceremonies such as weddings, offers a detailed portrait of love through both its characteristics and its negations.
According to Paul’s depiction, love is characterized by patience and kindness. It finds joy in truth, and it consistently bears, believes, hopes, and endures. Conversely, love is not envious, boastful, arrogant, rude, or irritable. It does not insist on its own way, nor does it rejoice in wrongdoing. The most profound statement within this passage is the assertion that "love never ends."
Ahearn cautions against viewing this scriptural account as a mere behavioral checklist. The inclination to simply "be more patient," "stop getting irritated," or "stop insisting on one’s own way" is often as futile as striving to maintain New Year’s resolutions. He posits that the divine intent is not superficial behavioral management, but a fundamental transformation of character from the inside out.
This internal transformation, referred to within Christian theology as sanctification, is understood as a gradual process guided by the Holy Spirit. Over time, individuals are shaped to become more Christ-like, and this inner change, in turn, profoundly influences their outward interactions and their capacity to persuade others.
The Inherent Cost of Love-Driven Influence
A crucial, often overlooked, aspect of loving influence is its inherent cost. Ahearn emphasizes that extending love and acting with genuine concern for others does not guarantee a desired outcome or a positive reception. This is a principle underscored by the historical experiences of prophets and spiritual leaders.
The prophets, for instance, frequently endured suffering for their unwavering commitment to speaking truth. Jesus Christ himself, the embodiment of perfect love, faced rejection, betrayal, and ultimately, crucifixion. These narratives serve as stark reminders that the impact of our influence cannot solely be measured by the immediate response it elicits.
It is easy, Ahearn observes, to fall into the trap of judging our influence by tangible metrics: whether others agreed, changed their minds, made a purchase, accepted our proposal, or simply "liked" our social media post. While these outcomes may be desirable, they are not definitive indicators of truly loving influence.
Genuine love, in the context of persuasion, can manifest in challenging ways. It may involve conveying difficult truths that an individual is reluctant to hear, prioritizing their needs and well-being above personal gain, or accepting a refusal when one desperately sought affirmation. In essence, exercising loving influence can demand personal sacrifice and a willingness to endure disappointment.
Reconciling "Lasting and Ethical" with "Loving and Eternal"
For decades, Ahearn’s professional discourse and teaching have centered on identifying and leveraging "Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical." He maintains a deep conviction in the validity and importance of these standards. However, the "Loving and Eternal" paradigm presents a distinct and more profound challenge.
The pursuit of an purely ethical framework can, at times, lead to a legalistic mindset, focusing on the boundaries of acceptable behavior: "What am I permitted to do?" "How far can I push without crossing a line?" "Am I technically in violation of any rules?" While these questions are valid for maintaining integrity, they can inadvertently shift the focus away from the recipient of the influence.
In contrast, the principle of love compels a different line of inquiry: "What is genuinely best for this person?" This fundamental question reshapes the entire landscape of influence. When the well-being and interests of the other person are prioritized above the desire to achieve one’s own agenda, the allure of manipulation diminishes significantly. When truth is valued more than the satisfaction of winning an argument, deception becomes an untenable option.
When there is a sincere desire for another’s good, ethical conduct transitions from a system of external rules to an intrinsic aspect of personal development. It becomes less about adherence to a code and more about the evolution of one’s own character.
The Eternal Dimension of Influence
This is where the concept of "Eternal" gains its profound significance. Most opportunities for influence appear mundane and fleeting: a casual conversation with a colleague, a brief interaction with a customer, offering advice to a friend, or a moment shared with a spouse, child, or grandchild. The immediate impact of these exchanges often seems contained within the present moment.
However, the ripple effects of these seemingly ordinary interactions are rarely fully discernible. The influence exerted, particularly when rooted in love and genuine concern, can extend far beyond our immediate perception and extend into perpetuity.
The distinction between the two interpretations of the PEOPLE acronym can be articulated as follows:
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Lasting and Ethical asks: "How can I influence people the right way?" This question emphasizes the method and the moral integrity of the persuasive act itself, aiming for outcomes that are both enduring and morally sound. It focuses on the "how" of influence, ensuring it adheres to established ethical principles and aims for long-term positive results.
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Loving and Eternal asks: "Who am I becoming as I influence them, and what might God do with that influence long after this moment is over?" This question shifts the focus to the internal transformation of the influencer and the potentially boundless, divinely ordained impact of their actions. It delves into the "why" and the "what next" of influence, considering the personal growth of the influencer and the transcendent, potentially eternal, consequences of their loving engagement.
Having dedicated decades to the study, practice, and teaching of influence, Ahearn asserts that the latter question—the one rooted in love and eternal perspective—is increasingly the more critical one. It challenges individuals to consider not only the immediate effectiveness of their persuasive efforts but also their role in shaping their own character and contributing to a larger, unfolding divine purpose.
Broader Implications and Future Considerations
Ahearn’s re-evaluation of the PEOPLE acronym invites a paradigm shift for individuals and organizations seeking to engage in ethical and effective influence. In a world increasingly saturated with persuasive messaging, the distinction between superficial persuasion and genuinely loving influence becomes paramount.
The implications extend to various sectors, including business, education, and personal relationships. In the business realm, for example, a "Loving and Eternal" approach to sales or customer service might prioritize long-term customer well-being and loyalty over short-term transactional gains. In education, it could mean fostering a supportive and transformative learning environment rather than simply imparting information. In personal relationships, it underscores the power of unconditional positive regard and empathetic communication.
The concept of "Eternal" also prompts reflection on legacy and impact. While "Lasting" influence suggests enduring effects within the human sphere, "Eternal" hints at a dimension that transcends mortal existence, aligning with spiritual or theological frameworks. This perspective encourages individuals to consider the ultimate significance of their actions and their contribution to something greater than themselves.
As Ahearn poses the question to his audience, the challenge is clear: Does embracing the "Loving and Eternal" perspective fundamentally alter how one perceives and practices influence, moving beyond the established benchmark of "Lasting and Ethical"? This ongoing dialogue promises to further refine our understanding of human connection and the profound responsibility that accompanies the power to persuade.
Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results. As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence. Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling and Influenced from Above were Amazon new release bestsellers. His LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 850,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views.
